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Women are constantly looking to build their confidence.
When I was young, I thought having great skin would bring me confidence. I put all my emphasis on making my skin look perfect, and that means, I was picking at every little flaw that I can find to make sure they are all eradicated-so I could have great skin that would then bring me confidence, right?
Wrong.
Because when I put so much emphasis on my imperfect skin, my skin actually never got perfect, how could it? Therefore, I was hugely sabotaging the confidence that I said I want, by being hard on myself.
How we want to build confidence is often a way that takes us deeper into being unconfident, ouch!
I often get invited to talks and presentations to share how women can have confidence. How do I dress, eat, take care of my body so women can also feel this confidence-the first thing I would tell you is-never be hard on yourself. Building confidence is not about being shameful of a lack of self-worth. We are educated in the world to never be worthy as women.
If we think doing or achieving a goal-such as losing or gaining weight, having pimple-less skin, wearing beautiful clothes, having a partner, having children, getting a high paid job, having great hair, enjoying life travelling everywhere, eating good food, buying lots of handbags will make us gain confidence, then go ahead and try those-and see how long our confidence will last.
We can definitely gain a surge of confidence-or is that stimulation/excitement when we first achieve something, but how long will that last, and is it permanent? If our confidence after achieving xyz is not permanent, then does gaining xyz really give us confidence? It feels exhausting and it is.
Where can we access our steady and unwavering confidence (settlement)?
What a great question. When we have done what we think brings us confidence, to discover that our confidence still requires a huge amount and constant maintaining, then it is so healing to be honest.
Where I feel a true and steady settlement, which I also call absoluteness, it is a grand confidence that does not waver, and it is never from what I do or achieve. It is simple-relying on any outside source to "give" me confidence means, if that source stops supplying me with what I need, it would also take away my confidence. If I rely on my children to give me confidence, they will grow up. If I rely on my marriage to give me confidence, relationships may break down. If I rely a person to give me confidence in my looks, such as my makeup artist, skin therapist, hair stylist, they can have a bad day and do a crappy job, or they may leave their profession one day.
Nothing outside of myself can ever give me true confidence.
That is why, Hello Gorgeous has been birthed to support us in realising, through counselling and bodywork, there is something deep within us (our body) that when ignited, builds a true settlement that nothing can ever take it away from you.
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